An Anonymous Thank You

July 31, 2007 at 1:26 pm Leave a comment

Thank you Costco bakery worker. Thank you for once again saving me from myself.

I don’t know if it’s a store policy but please don’t ever change how you package the assorted giant muffins. The glorious, delicious, tender, yummy muffins. The gargantuan muffins that are way more than one serving if you have any self-restraint at all. Mostly I, myself, don’t suffer from the ills of self-restraint and I can polish one off in a sitting, no problem.

It’s the chocolate ones that steal my heart (and stomach). Rich and cake-like, studded with chocolate chips. A damn, fine dessert all by itself, really. I can easily pass by the chocolate muffins packaged by the dozen. In no figment of my imagination can I justify twelve heavenly chocolate muffins all to myself. And they would be all mine, for you see, my husband does not have a sweet tooth. I still wonder how such a thing is possible. If I’ve made cookies, he might have one that day and ask a week or more later, are there any cookies left? Is he serious? It’s been a week. No self-respecting homemade cookie lasts more than three days, four tops. So you can see how the muffins would be my responsibility alone. (The kids, you ask? C’mon, the muffins are as big as their heads, I can’t feed them to my kids. Seriously.)

So I was once again saved yesterday from the assortment pack of muffins by the strange flavor combinations they favor there at the bakery. The hunt begins by looking for the ones with chocolate. Have to have the chocolate. Next we see what will they be paired with. Blueberry? That’s a good one. You can pass this off as breakfast. Banana walnut? Same. Lemon poppyseed? Tough call. An excellent muffin but one fears the strong flavor of the lemon might have infiltrated the chocolate if they’ve been touching. The oat-y, apple-y one with icing? Another good run at dessert, maybe breakfast with the oats and all, also justifiable.

The saving grace is…. the corn muffin. They’re always in the assortment with the chocolate. Egads!

I don’t have anything against corn muffins. I like a corn muffin once in a while. I even bet Costco makes a fine corn muffin. But I won’t buy an assortment pack with corn muffins. You see, despite the fact that I like to delude myself sometimes, I really do understand that these muffins are bad for me, especially in the Costco quantity. They haven’t called out the trans fats yet on the label, but I’m sure they’re in there somewhere. Something must be hydrogenated. They taste too good not to be. Bottom line is I can’t eat four unjustified corn muffins just to get to the delectable chocolate ones. I don’t know why, but it’s a line I can’t cross. Thank heavens. I think it’s been more than a year since I’ve bought muffins. I think the last time I caved, I was pregnant and somehow felt justified.

So thank you again, Costco bakery worker. You’ve made it possible for me to make it out of the store once again without muffins. Bless you.


Entry filed under: food, stuff. Tags: .

Trying to Accessorize Lowell Quilt Festival

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Hi. This is my blog about fabric, food, family and fancy. Welcome. I'd love to hear from you. Peg

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